He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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