I didn't shave. On purpose
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
