Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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