You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I currently don't understand fingers.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
