He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
