Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
