Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
