Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
and you fell through a lawn chair
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
