He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
