Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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