So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize