I'm sorry my penis didn't work
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
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