If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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