imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
