his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize