there was a trapeze. enough said
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
