Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
