i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
