so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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