i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
