I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
