Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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