awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
