porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize