I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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