is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize