pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
