I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just want to make out with him forever
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize
