Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
