Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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