They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
