its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize