even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
