She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
