Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
