Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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