Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
