Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
