I will die if light touches me.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I think my moral compass just broke
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize