You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
