he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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