I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize