Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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