I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I can text with my tongue
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
