I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
