i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
