is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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