yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
