He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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