The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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