If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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