I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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