i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize