Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
