tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
