I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Randomize
