you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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