My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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