wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
